A brief blog on overcoming the scary world of Public Speaking and Building Self-Confidence

“Public Speaking and Self-Confidence is a subject I get asked to talk about a lot. Those that know me well know that at 20yrs old, having started my working career as a Personal Trainer, I was set for a life in the RAF as a Physical Training Instructor. My main focus was on getting military personnel in to their best physical shape possible, running new recruits up mountains and jumping out of aeroplanes (and doing it with them). I never imagined myself instead as a Banker. Any regrets I stayed on Blue Chip terra firma for 23years, absolutely none! So what has this got to do with Public Speaking and Self-confidence…everything, it’s all about mindset. For this Reflection, I’ll touch on a couple of simple techniques I’ve learned over the years to help making public speaking and self-confidence a success. If you’d like to know more about my thoughts and experience with this subject, then please do get in touch directly. To kick this very broad subject off, let me re-phrase it as “Self-Confidence and Public Speaking”. Life might not always go the way you intended it to go as you grow up, but the one constant in this life is you! Sometimes decisions are made for you that you can’t influence (mine was my RAF medical) and sometimes you get to make the big decisions yourself… just like the old crossroads cliché of shall I turn left, shall I turn right or go straight on – all directions are right and wrong at the same time (a Schrodinger’s cat simile if you like). Public Speaking can manifest itself in a number of ways depending on how you feel about it; maybe it’s a 121 with your boss that you’re desperate to impress, perhaps you want to ask a question on an “all hands” call with all of your colleagues also online (I actually include digital commenting in Teams chats etc. within “public speaking”), or maybe you’re a senior leader hosting a Town Hall event – all of which can be frightening. The key ingredient in each of these scenarios in making this moment a success is you! So from my experience, having self-belief is the key to being really great at public speaking. But the problem with experience is it takes time to collect and for some reason humans are hardwired to be our own biggest critic. Picture the scene (we’ve all been there), you’ve been asked to speak in front of others and suddenly self-doubt and imposter syndrome creeps in and before you know it, “glossophobia” (fear of public speaking) takes over. Research has shown that as much of 75% of people suffer with glossophobia. It can be subtle from a slight quavering voice or a small hand tremor to a full-on panic attack and “the fear”. But with preparation and persistence it CAN be overcome! The British Army have used the 7P’s as one of their many motto’s for decades, and I find it extremely relevant for Public Speaking. For the purposes of LinkedIn communications, we’ll call it the 6P’s today (you can insert your own 7th if you like 😊) “ Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents **** Poor Performance”. But it amazes me how many times people don’t prepare fully for an upcoming “speaking moment”, so when it comes to the crunch the nerves kick in and we hate ourselves for letting us get in this situation in the first place. So lets start here… In 2001, when I joined Barclays with a handful of GCSE’s and a general affliction to learning (I just wanted to jump out of aeroplanes remember) Robert Covey’s “7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” was my introduction to self-development and personal growth. Back then, it was treated like the Gospel for career development. Every 121 at the time featured an element of Covey in some shape of form…but looking back it really did set me up for success. For those that haven’t flicked through Covey’s book at some point, I’d highly recommend it. For the purpose of this topic, let’s look briefly at Habit #2: “Begin with the end in mind” Covey describes this habit as: To begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen. This is the perfect habit to help improve your self-confidence… so here’s a little hack I picked up over the years that anyone can do. Create this habit to help build self-confidence as you prepare for a public speaking moment (or any other scary moment you might have coming up).

1. Make sure you are in a quiet room with distractions turned off
2. Sit up straight in your chair and your back is supported
3. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth – some smart watches have a “breathe” app, which really helps control your breathing for this exercise, so please use it if you have it
4. Focus on your exhalations – make sure they are powerful and long lasting and equally as long as your inhalations
5. Rest your mind in the moment between inhale and exhale
6. Once you have done this 4-6 times, only then imagine yourself in front of your audience about to speak
7. Picture yourself very precisely, very concretely standing and speaking. You’re feeling relaxed and confident
8. Imagine the speech is going well – the audience is attentive, appreciative, smiling and even applauding when you have finished
9. Allow yourself time to smile here
10. Open your eyes and remember this feeling of relaxed concentration that you’re feeling right now
11. If at any time through points 1-7 you feel any tension or nervousness or you become mentally distracted, return to the deep breathing for a couple more breaths and start again
12. Repeat these steps until you have conjured in your mind a clear vision of yourself performing the speech very well and it being well received by the audience

Now that you have that vision, hold on to it as you prepare for your real-life moment. It is a vital first step in improving your self-confidence – you must believe in you!! A little later in my career, I was fortunate to spend some development time with a fleet street journalist (Helen Lucas) and a Sky News Anchor (Neil McNeil) and took some amazing learning points from them on how they prepare for public speaking. Being in the media, their every comment is judged, so who better to learn from.

Helen & Neil taught me that “Communication is the ultimate instrument of influence”, so follow their 3C’s when preparing your content:

Clear – Use plain English and short sentences. Get rid of fancy words and compound phrases as they’ll trip you up. If you want to be understood by your audience, remove technical and corporate jargon Concise – Be the master of brevity. Use as little time and as fewer words as possible to get your idea across. This doesn’t mean speak faster! Conversational – Make every communication two-way and interactive. Ask questions and be ready to answer questions too. It should not feel like a one-way interrogation So there we go, two sure fire ways to help build self-confidence and prepare for public speaking. This is a journey, so I’m not expecting miracles on your first go, and nor should you. But as Covey says in habit #7, keep “sharpening the saw”. I hope you found the above hacks helpful and relevant. Please do get in touch if I can help you further! “

Copied, Originally written by  “Raphael Berwitz; Published Jul 23, 2024“